This is me and my pal Sophie:

I am babysitting her right now while her parents, Pat and Fred, are on vaca. Sophie can’t hear or see because she is old, but she has a lot of spirit! I like that about her. She has taught me how to lick the dirty dishwasher door when it’s open because there are a lot of overlooked treats stuck on there, to knock the trash cans over, to beg for food without appearing to be begging, and best of all: how to bark at nothing at all. Very liberating. She also lets me lick her nostrils and toes. Oh, and she lets me talk about me for hours and doesn’t tell me I’m narcissistic. Friends who can’t hear are the best!

This is me innocently waiting for the dishwasher to open to score some nibblets:

I feel alive when I’m with Sophie. Our friendship reminds me of the relationship between Royal and Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum when he teaches them about “putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield…taking it out and chopping it up.”

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